THIZ DOCUMENT EZPLAINZ WHAT YEW DEW WHEN DA FEDZ BUST DOWN Y0 D00R
1) IT HAZ HAPPENED TEW ME SEVERAL TIMEZ, YEW JUST GIT D0NE SMOKING YEW NEWPORT, AFTER
A SUCESSFUL HAQ ON A NASA COMPUTER. THEN YEW HEAR A *KNOCK KNOCK* AND A MAN YELLING
"OPEN THE DOOR NOW." DIZ SHOULD GIVE YEW DA HINTZ DAT IT'Z DA FEDZ. YO SHOULD JUMP IN ESCAPE MODE STRAIGHT AWAY IF YEW WANT TEW ESCAPE.
2) SO AT DIZ POINT, WE HAVE ESTABLISHED A BUST. NOW YEW NEED TO GO TO THE SITE OF
YER COMPUTER. IT IZ ESSENTIAL THAT YEW POOR WATER INTEW IT. DIZ MAKE IT SO WHEN
DA FEDZ TRY TO TURN IT ON, IT GOEZ BOOM AND HOPEFULLY THE HARD DRIVE HAZ BEEN BROKEN.
3) SO NOW IT IZ TIME TO CHECK THE BACK WINDOZE. MAKE SURE THEY HAVE NOT GOT D00DZ
IN THE BACK WIT GUNZ. I FIND 9 TIMEZ OUT OF 10 NO ONE IZ THERE. QUIETLY UNLOCK
DA WINDOW AND FIGURE OUT YEW ESCAPE ROUTE.
4) WHEN DA FEDZ SAY THEIR COMING IN, LOCK THE DOOR AND SAY YEW WILL BE RIGHT THERE.
AT DIZ POINT, RUN TEW THE ALREADY UNLOCKED WINDOW AND START GETTIN OUT.
5) AT DIZ POINT, CRAWL ON ALL FOURZ. ONCE YEW GIT TEW DA FENCE CLIMB UP IT AS SLOWLY
AZ POSSIBLE AND RUN/WALK AWAY CASUALLY. ONCE YEW CAN'T SEE YEW HOUSE NO MORE, RUN
LIKE THE WIND.
6) AT DIZ POINT, YEW WILL BE TIRED AND OUT OF BREATH, AND ABOUT TO PASSOUT. SO FIND
SOMEONE (OLD PEOPLE ARE THE BEST) WHO ARE/IS GETTING OUT OF THEIR CAR AND SAY YEW'VE
GOT A GUN AND DIZ BE A CAR JACKING.
7) YER NOW IN DA CAR. LOOK AROUND FER SOME PHAT TONEZ, HOPEFULLY IF DA PERZON IZ
COOL, THEY WILL HAVE SOME PFT TONEZ. POP DA SHIT IN AND CRANK IT UP.
8) PUT DA CAR INTO OVERDRIVE, OR GEAR 1 AND PUT YER FOOT DOWN AZ HARD AZ YEW CAN.
THE TIREZ WILL MAKE SKARRY NOICEZ BUT THATZ OK.
9) BY DIZ POINT, YER ON YOUR WAY TEW BEING SAFE. ALTHOUGH YEW MAY NEED SOME MONEY
FOR FOOD, OR GAS.
10) LOCATE A BANK (BANKZ WILL BE OPEN CAUSE FEDZ NEVER BUST PEOPLE ON SUNDAYS, HOLLIDAYS,
OR AFTER 4:30PM), DRIVE IN AND SAY DIZ BE A HOLD UP AND YOU HAVE PFT BOMBZ ATTACHED
TO YER BODY. THEY WILL THEN START GIVING YEW MONEY.
11) AT DIZ POINT YEW GOTZ AROUND A MILLION DOLLARZ IN CASH. HOP IN DA CAR AND GO
ON A FREEWAY AND KEEP DRIVING. DRIVE UNTIL YEW ON EMPTY, THEN PULL OFF DA FREEWAY
AND FILLUP AND GET SOME PHOOD. HOP BACK ON DA FREEWAY AND DRIVE FOR 3 HOURS EXACTLY.
12) NOW YEW CLEARLY OUTTA TROUBLE. IT IZ TIME YEW GET SOME REST. FIND A MOTEL 6
AND PULL IN AND GET A ROOM UNDER A FAKE NAME. SUCH AZ YOUR PFT NAME. AND SINCE
YEW GOTZ $999,970 (YEW SPENT 30 BUCKZ ON GAS AND PHOOD), RENT DA ROOM FOR TEW WEEKZ
AND MAKE SHURE YOU GET PR0N MOVIEZ ACTIVATED. CAUSE IT WILL GIT REAL BOARD.
13) AFTER 2 WEEKZ, YEW CAN DRIVE TEW YER CITY. PARK DA CAR ABOUT 3 BLOCKZ AWAY FROM
YER HOUSE. THEN WALK TO YER HOUSE AND SEE IF EVERYTHINGZ COOL 8 TIMEZ OUT OF 10
IT WILL BE COOL. ALTHOUGH SOMETIMEZ THERE WILL BE FEDZ STEAKING YER HOUSE OUT.
14) NOW THAT YER SAFE AT YER HOUSE, IT IZ TIME TO GIT A NEW COMPUTER WITH DA LEF TO
OVER MONEY. GIT BACK ON DA NET AND BRAG TO YER PFT FRIENDZ (DIZ IZ PHUN)
OK, NOW WHAT HAPPENZ WHEN THERE IZ FEDZ IN THE BACK?
STARTING AT:
4) GIT DA DUMMY DAT YEW BUILT. YEW SHOULD ALWAYZ HAVE DIZ IF YER A HAQER. RUN TEW
DA UPSTAIRZ AND OPEN DA WINDOW. GIT DA LATTER DAT SHOULD BE IN YER THE 'ESCAPE ROOM'
AND CLIMB ONTEW DA ROOF, MAKE SURE YEW GOT DA FAKE DUMMY, BUT SOME HOW HIDE IT.
WHEN YEW GIT TEW DA TOP, ACT ALL SUCIDAL AND SHIT. SAY YER GONNA JUMP.
5) WHEN DA FEDZ AREN'T LOOKING, KIK DA DUMMY OFF DA ROOF. DIZ WILL MAKE THEM THINK
YEW JUMPED. THEY WILL THEN GO TEW DA BODY AND CHECK IT OUT.
6) AT DIZ POINT GIT YER LATTER DOWN AND GIT OFF DA ROOF, MAKE SURE YEW GO UN-NOTICED.
7) FOR DIZ STEP, REPEAT STEPZ 6-14 THAT ARE IN DA FIRST PART OF DIZ DOCUMENT.
DIZ DOCUMENT HAZ BEEN TESTED OUT IN REAL LIFE SITUATIONS BY MYSELF.
DIZ DOCUMENT HAZ BEEN WRITTEN AND TESTED BY:
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