Date: Fri, 30 May 1997 17:52:02 -0500 (CDT)
From: Vaux <nexus@evansville.net>
To: svenf@webspan.net
Subject: Tales of Bobin

My name is Bobin, Bobin Utengood. One day I was walking along the street
and a homeless man came up to me and said, 'Could you spare a cracker?' I
replied 'I have no crackers.' and preceded to walk.

The next day I walked down that same street and I saw the homeless man
again. He came up to me and said, 'Me need crackers. Me need crackers. Me
need crackers.', in a child's voice. This sickened me so I kicked him in
the face.

The third consecutive day I was walking down the street, I saw the homeless
man once more. This time he started screaming 'CRACKERS CRACKERS CRACKERS'
and barked like a dog. As the day before, I was sickened by such a sad
display of ignorance. I pondered what to do and finally decided to shoot
him.

Well apparently shooting him wasn't the proper thing to do, because the
police arrived at my house with a warrent for my arrest the following
morning. I am now serving 3 consecutive life sentences for manslaughter in
a maximum security prison.

On the first day of my sentence, I was put in a cell with a large man named
'Ruby'. It was ironic, but the first thing he did to me was ask if I had
any crackers. I told him no and punched him in the stomach. He then anally
raped me.

On the second day of my sentence I was transferred to another cell on
account of the fact I didn't enjoy being anally raped by a man named Ruby.
This new cell arrangement proved to be quite bad also. My new cellmate was
a 73 year old man named 'Old Wacky Joe.' I wondered why they called him
'Wacky', until he began sucking my toes in the middle of the night.

On the third day of my sentence I was once again moved to a new cell, after
I brutally beat 'Old Wacky Joe' to death. This new cell wasn't like the
previous, it was smaller and I didn't have any roomates.

Since I wasn't entertained by someone else as I had been the days before, I
thought rubbing my feces all over myself and the walls was a good idea.
When the guard beat me with a stick, I realized maybe that wasn't the best
way to pass the time.